Zen and the Art of Everyday Living
Thoughts on *time*, plus the nitty-gritty of a random Monday
It's been about a month since school started in New York City, and for the first time in over 10 years, I am not in a classroom teaching. Instead, I’ve entered a new, somewhat experimental phase of my life.
As I wrote a few weeks back, I recently stepped away from full-time work to (mostly) stay home with my 9-month-old, help my six-year-old adjust to his new school routine, and generally try to make our family life a bit calmer. So far, it’s been really great, helped in no small part by the perfectly sunny, dreamily crisp early autumn weather:
So yes, it’s been fun—but also challenging—trying to find a steady rhythm to our days. For one thing, every day is different. Two mornings a week, I teach my baby and toddler classes, so those days of course have their own flow. Some days, the baby’s naps are long and predictable; other days, they’re quick and confusing. Some days, I get a lot done around the house—laundry, random organizing projects, meal prep—while other days, I’m lucky if a single dish makes it to the sink.
As I work to find a sustainable rhythm, I’ve been reflecting on the book Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman. The quick and dirty summary of it is: time is an artificial construct and modern productivity culture is a hoax. Our time on this earth is limited, and we will never get everything done, so we shouldn’t stress so much about it. Instead, we must focus on what truly matters to us. This idea has become a kind of guiding light as I work to find the flow of our days.
I’m personally aiming for balance—one that allows me to blend mindful productivity and meaningful work with a calm, spacious, enjoyable family life.
Recently, I came across a bunch of day-in-the-life posts on Substack (namely Becca Freeman and Grace Atwood), and an question lodged itself in my mind: what would a snapshot of my days even look like right now?
So, on a random Monday in October, with nothing on the calendar and all these thoughts swirling in my head, I took notes while trying to balance getting things done and doing nothing—being with the baby, hanging with the big kid, and slowing down enough to actually enjoy it all.
5am - 8am: The Morning Rush
5:42am: Baby's up. We nurse, cuddle, and I try to coax him back to sleep. No dice.
6:10am: Out of bed, coffee time. Husband is awake before me—which is weird. He informs me he just killed a mouse—which is also weird. Good morning to us! Things are off to a...start.
6:15am: The baby snuggles up on the couch with me, as I attempt to sip my coffee and read a book. I manage about 5 sips and 3 pages before the big kid starts yelling, “Moooommmmyyyy!” from his room.
(The past three weeks, I’ve been using an app to turn my phone into a "dumb phone" from 5 a.m. to 8 a.m., and it’s been fantastic—highly recommend. I would’ve normally been mid-doom scroll by now—but surprise!—the mornings are way more chill when I’m not falling into the depths of the internet as soon as I open my eyes.)
6:20am: The big kid is out of his room, and it’s officially party time. We’re all up—getting dressed, getting fed, packing lunches, brushing teeth. Oh, and somehow, some Halloween decorations got made? Check out this terrifying blue ghost!
7:15am: I make our smoothie—frozen banana, frozen blueberries, peanut butter, chocolate protein powder, and almond milk. The big kid only takes a few, tiny sips. Drink more drink more, I beg.
7:23am: He does not drink more.
7:25am: Hugs and kisses and “charge ups” from the big kid, and husband is out the door.
7:34am: Baby in the stroller, we walk to the big boy’s new school. I was a little nervous about the transition—he transferred from the Montessori school where I worked to our neighborhood public school. It’s a whole new set of expectations and a different learning style, and for the first time in his life, he’s in a school where I’m not also teaching in! But so far, he’s loving it. Our walk is filled with his excited chatter about the day ahead—the friends he’ll see, the games they’ll play, the fun facts he’s learning (did you know monarch butterflies are poisonous?!), and the ultimate highlight of his school day: P.E. class.
7:50am: Drop him off with his class in the school yard. Blow a thousand kisses and wave good bye!
8am - 9am: Hot Baby Stroller Walk
I love long walks around Brooklyn. Honestly, when I found out I was pregnant again and that I was going to have another baby to take long stroller walks with… that’s kinda what sealed the deal. I mean, not totally, but also kinda? It just made me so excited. I’m happy to report that the baby seems to love the walks as much as I do, cooing and babbling the whole way. I press shuffle on my current playlist and we stroll.
8:30am: One of my favorite things about our neighborhood is the wild proliferation of Little Free Library boxes. I love the serendipity of finding random books and I take the magic of it all very seriously. I stopped by two boxes, and grabbed one book—
8:40am: Quick stop at the corner grocery. Pick up sweet potatoes, carrots, raspberries, cucumbers, and cookies.
8:54am: Home. And oh, would you look at that, it’s nap time! We did it, Joe!
9am - 11am: Nap time/chill time
9:00am: Nurse and cuddle the baby to sleep, while looking at phone. Play my word games, scroll headlines, check email, and, as I am wont to do, watch a dumb amount of TikToks.
9:20am: Roll away from sleeping baby, walk out into the quiet apartment. Realize this is the first time I’m alone all morning.
9:26am: Husband calls, he had to break up a fight between students this morning and got whacked in the head. He’s fine, but that’s not like…a fun thing to deal with.
10:06am: Baby wakes up but I nurse him back to sleep! You could bottle up this feeling and sell it for a million bucks!
10:15am: Lately, I’ve been YouTubing video podcasts on our TV while I putz around the house tidying up. Sometimes I even light a candle!
Video podcasts are perfect as background viewing. My current favorites to put on:
Today I watched clips of Kamala Harris on Call Her Daddy, which is not a sentence I ever thought I’d say, and an episode of Lemme Say This.
In general, once the tidy is complete, this is my writing, reading, chilling, phone time. And that’s exactly what I do until baby wakes up.
11:00am: Baby wakes up—that was a nice, long nap! We lay in bed cuddling and playing. His laugh is delicious, and his gummy, four-tooth smile has me completely smitten. His current favorite song game is "If You're Happy and You Know It," and he nails the claps every time. I mean every time! (I’m pretty sure he’s a genius.)
11:30am - 2pm: Post-nap things
11:30am: After the baby wakes up, I bring him into the kitchen while I empty and load the dishwasher, prep food, wipe down the counters, and so on. He’s fascinated by my movements and the sensory experience of the task—the clink of the dishes, the scent of the food. It reminds me of the book Hunt, Gather, Parent, which highlights how children learn through observation and participation in daily family life.
I always try to save household tasks to do with the baby nearby. He stays happy and engaged, and it keeps those precious nap times free from “chore creep.” Highly recommend!
11:35am: He eats properly for this first time today (other than nursing and like eight Bambas on our walk). He has a scrambled egg, mashed raspberries, and a spoonful of hummus. Most of it ends up on his face and my floor, but he’s happy, so it’s all good.
I eat Greek yogurt with mashed banana, peanut butter, granola, cinnamon, honey, and raspberries. I normally would just give him what I eat (or at least a baby-safe version of it) but he’s been congested and coughing lately so I haven’t been giving him dairy.
While we eat, I clean the kitchen and prep for dinner by washing and cutting sweet potatoes, carrots, and an onion for later.
We’re still listening to my playlist. Baby babbles along.
12:15pm: Since the baby mostly feeds himself, every meal inevitably ends in bath time, but I don’t mind because 1) water play is another incredible baby activity and 2) this is the time when I can finally wash my face and use all my goops, and do all my other bathroom things. Today I also wipe down the sink and clean the floor while the baby is splashing and playing, like an honest-to-god multitasking genius.
12:30pm: Baby dries off, has a little naked time.
12:38pm: I dress him in a truly adorable outfit. (One of my sickest mom brags is that my best friend is the manager of Parachute Brooklyn, the best vintage and secondhand kids' shop around, so I get the cutest baby clothes through no real work of my own).
12:45pm: The baby practices standing—bouncing, kneeling, squatting up and down, and doing downward dogs. It’s basically a baby HIIT class.
12:55pm: I lay out various materials on the baby’s play mat for him to explore. I sit nearby sorting and folding laundry while we watch Nobody Wants This on Netflix. We play together, do our own thing, play together, do our own thing, for around an hour.
2pm - 4pm: Schools out
2pm: Baby goes in stroller and out we go for another walk.
2:15pm - Pick up big kid. He’s had another good day!
2:20pm: Our local library branch is directly next door to his school, so we stroll over to pass some time. I love this part of our routine so much. Including my years babysitting and nannying, I have been hanging out with kids in libraries for over 15 years! I find the calm, quiet, book-centered atmosphere to be an ideal place for kids to decompress and transition after a long day of school, as a sort of antidote to after-school restraint collapse.
2:30pm: The big kid snacks on a seaweed pack and a granola bar while we read a few early readers together.
2:45pm: He finds a friend, and they start looking at books together, so the baby and I stroll around the library, perusing cookbooks, new fiction releases, and random woo woo self-helpy books.
I’ve been taking out wayyy too many books lately. Here are my current stacks:
2:50pm: I think, maybe the baby will fall asleep in the stroller now.
3:05pm: Baby does not fall asleep in the stroller, so off we go home to try.
3:20pm: After a brisk, sunny walk, we’re home. The big kid settles into play Legos while I lay with the baby to sleep.
3:40pm: He does not sleep. He is wide awake. I give up on nap time for now.
3:45pm: I make myself a cup of tea (lavender earl gray with milk and honey). I sip it in blissful quiet while the big boy plays Legos, and the baby is fully mesmerized watching him play Legos. This is the perfect closed system loop. I’ve reached parenting nirvana. Am I literally the world’s best parent???
3:52pm: I think the baby may have just eaten a marker, so that’s a hard no on that.
3:58pm: The Lego structure broke, big boy is screaming, I help clean up and reset.
4pm - 6pm: Early dinner time
4:15pm: Husband is home! The rest of his day was “totally fine”, which after a morning of dead mice and breaking up high school fights is a very good thing. Him and big kid catch up and play while I lay with baby again.
4:30pm: Finally, finally baby is asleep. Late nap today! Baby sleep is literally always a mystery and an adventure. I just try to ~ride the wave~.
5:00pm: I roast the already-prepped sweet potatoes and carrots, put quinoa on the stovetop, and heat up some veggie burgers. This is my big push of a meal that doubles and sometimes triples as lunches for the next few days, on top of us having it for dinner tonight.
5:50pm - We make quinoa bowls with all the roasted stuff plus chickpeas, feta cheese, olives, tahini, and hot sauce. It’s basically my Mediterranean dream meal.
My older son ate maybe one bite of his veggie burger, some raw peppers, and an apple I think? Baby slept through dinner tonight.
6pm - 9pm: The Wind Down
6:30pm: Baby wakes up, while the big boy eats a cookie and does a homework sheet.
6:45pm: The highlight of the day—everyone hanging out together in the living room until bedtime! We recap our days, chat about the Mets and the Knicks, play with toys, look at books. With the weather cooling down, we’ve started listening to records again. Tonight’s choices: The Specials and The Beatles. While this is going on, the baby practically does another HIIT class.
7:45pm: Big kid runs through the bedtime routine, including me reading five ridiculous chapters of a Dog Man book, and then falls asleep pretty quickly!
8:00pm: Baby is up later than usual because of his late nap. My husband and I get a chance to hang out and talk while the baby plays.
8:30pm: Baby starts to fuss, so off to bed we go. I brush my teeth and re-goop my face. The baby falls asleep faster than I thought he would after such a late nap! Forever a mystery.
8:45pm: I scroll my phone in bed until my eyes burn.
9:15pm: I put on a podcast to fall asleep to. Sleep podcasts need to be interesting enough to hold my attention and block out any of my own *thoughts*, but still let me check out and drift off to sleep. My current favorites are: Maintenance Phase, Was I In a Cult?, and Scamfluencers.
Somewhere in the middle of a an episode about a bitcoin scam, I fall asleep.
Thoughts:
Writing this out was surprisingly helpful for me in visualizing a day. I hadn’t pieced it together this way in my mind before. While I may never have another day exactly like this, it felt good to be mindful and take stock. It would be interesting to revisit this in a few months when the baby is a year old, 15 months, or 18 months—just to see how our days shift, how my work schedule evolves, and how our family’s needs change.
Overall, it was a great day—beautiful weather, happy kids, a chill me. I’m so grateful for days like this because they affirm that, at least for now, we made the right choice. If I were working full-time, our days would be a lot more intense and hectic. There’d be no leisurely food shopping, dinner prep, or folding laundry—it would all have to get squeezed into the edges of mornings, nights, and weekends. The big kid wouldn’t get his relaxing library time or multiple Lego sessions before the mad dinner rush. I get to follow the baby’s wacky sleep schedule, without worrying so much about the clock as I normally might. The slower pace serves us all.
Of course, not every day runs this smoothly. Sometimes the baby is cranky, crying, teething, or barely sleeping. The big kid has tough moments and meltdowns. I’m not always my best self—not even close. We still get swept up in the rush and pressures of life, but I feel incredibly fortunate that, for now, I have the flexibility to shape the rhythms of our days and create a flow that, more often than not, is feeling pretty good!
Books mentioned:
Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Burkeman
Hunt, Gather, Parent: What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us about the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans by Michaeleen Doucleff
Love!!!