I haven't read this yet, though I'm about to! I am a Christian married to a Jewish man, and these years since 10/7 have been real eye-openers for me, as I've watched former friends and acquaintances spout hatred that they view as "speaking truth to power." I have had a perpetual anger simmering under the surface, on behalf of my husband and Jewish and Israeli in-laws. Sadly, I know that it took a lot of bravery for you to write this post. Thank you for doing so.
It’s been an eye-opener for us all! Thank you so much for your compassion and understanding. It does feel like it is in short supply lately. Describing it as a perpetual anger simmering under the surface is so right on!
I read it - so well-written and heartfelt. Thank you for sharing your family's story. This part especially resonated:
"And part of what has become so exhausting is that I can feel myself still wanting to participate in it all anyway. I still want to empty my pockets for you. I still want to believe that if I just explain my family and our history and the Jewish people well enough, carefully enough, patiently enough, something might finally land and open people’s minds."
I know, that’s the game they make us play — having to answer their wild accusations but never being believed no matter what we say. If we do somehow make our point, they change to another accusation.
Here’s another quote from Sartre that almost made the piece: “Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. The anti-Semites have the right to play.”
I’m glad you decided to write this essay. Whether or not turning out your pockets changes the minds of our “inquisitors”, it will be read and appreciated by many other Jews, as it was by me.
Thanks so much, Ruth! I know, it’s such a funny desire to so want to disprove their narratives, even when I have no real faith much will ever change their minds. I’m so glad you read it and appreciated the piece 🧡
People can be brainwashed en masse, but now that their identities are fused to the false narrative in which they are virtuous heroes, they can only be returned to reality one by one (and that’s no guarantee).
I actually think it’s worse than the Qanon/stolen election people from a few years ago.
I’m livid at the Democratic Party for failing to lead and tell the truth - that there was no genocide, no colonialism, etc. And for instead deciding on genocidal antizionism as election strategy.
Assuming Vance isn’t the R candidate for 2028, I’ll cast my first R vote for President ever. (My state doesn’t have much happening for midterms.)
My husband is Israeli and my in laws live over there. This piece resonated with me deeply. A big part of why I left social media (IG & FB) a few years ago was the appalling response to October 7 by so many “progressive” people I know. Seeing these keyboard warriors, some of them friends I’ve known for years, spew such vitriol toward the “Israeli colonizers”—from the comfort and safety of their American homes which, by their own definition, sit on stolen land—was turning me into a really bitter person. It is absolutely a projection of colonizer guilt like you said. Anyway thank you for posting this.
Hi Christina, I have always been overwhelmed by social media but the post Oct 7 environment was (and still is) truly unreal and heartbreaking. The hypocrisy and the feeling that me and my family are just props in their abstract morality play (they won’t actually have to deal with any consequence) is so maddening. It took me so long to even figure out what was going on, let alone be able to articulate it. I’m so glad you read and resonated with the piece (even if it’s a very hard thing to resonate with!) 🧡
Very powerful! ✡️Keep writing. I loved your story and feel exactly the way you do! My grandparents escaped Hungary in 1920 with five children after my grandfather was up before a firing squad mistaken for a Hungarian army deserter from WWl. In the lower east side in NYC, they had three more daughters. My daughter and grandchildren live in Israel. We visit every year. I volunteered in March 2023 and was there all of January 2026. It is the best country in the world. 🌍💙🤍🇮🇱
From your lips to Hashem’s ears. I live in Portland and the one non-Jewish friend who even thought to even mention how horrible Oct 7 was without any prompting has a special place in my heart.
And also I am a left-leaning American Jew who found out in the few days after Oct 7 and the years since that, as someone said above, the Left just isn’t that into me…
Thank you for this beautiful personal account. Nothing new in it for me, i am familiar with almost everything you mention to the T, but it still moved me to tears reading it from you.
I can relate well to your observations about friends and colleagues. The same happened between me and my own daughter! I am gonna have her read your piece, even if i have written plenty myself already, and am not shy to address issues.
Perhaps good to know for you: my daughter has a good heart, she would be a tsaddik if it weren't for the fact she now seems lost to me. She fights for everyone and anyone needing emancipation, and i'm proud to say that priviliged people denying their privilige (one of the worst among all priviliges IMO) can count on the full wrath of her moral clarity and her ruthless eloquence.
She is a scholar by nature, yet her inquisitiveness has now failed her.
She is a de facto antisemite, although i, her father was raised by four holocaust survivors. But i know her well enough to see that she is deluded for some reason. The delusion trapped this most improbable victim without her noticing. And that says a lot!
This for me most serious case of antisemitism just illustrates how treacherous this virus works. My daughter does not hate jews or her own partial jewishness. When i tell her she is antisemite, she feels deeply insulted and indignant about it.
That's how deep antisemitism is embedded in the sheer texture of western society. And how well the propaganda works. Both Sunni (MB, etc.) and Shia (IRGC, etc.) narratives are so ubiquitously infiltrated into even reputable media, and so generously financed worldwide, there's almost no stopping them.
But i will keep asking my daughter (and friends, and neighbours, and anyone) to substantiate their allegations, and confront them with (by asking to explain) how any evidence for their claims is missing. And regardless of evidence, how little sense it makes to paint jihad that has replaced all cultures it came across and now rules a quarter of the world under sharia, is the victim of a little country that fits 500 times in the landmass of the Arab League alone.
No indigeneity or religious arguments needed. We leave everyone in peace that does not attack us, they leave no one in peace, despite nobody attacking them. And they're not guilty of spreading the plague, islam IS the plague. A religion of explicit very un-subtle hatred.
Anyway, your family pics look absolutely invigorating! Tx for your post, and warm regards, Yuri.
Thank you so much for your comment, Yuri. I can hear the pain in your words. I can only imagine feeling so estranged from a family member. It’s been a really intense time for us and very eye-opening. I hope by sharing our stories more people will be able see our humanity and nuance, but even if they don’t, we’ll still have each other!
Thank you, Danielle for putting into words what has evaded me these years. Your writing is beautiful. While the initial loss of friendships and a political home was disorienting, it had also led me to a deeper clarity of who I want to surround myself with and leaning into my Jewish culture/faith. Being Jewish in America is a very visceral experience these days. I am a Soviet Jew whose family survived the Holocaust. I came to the US when I was 6, and have lived in America for over 35 years-this is the first time I have felt this unsafe and hated. Our synagogue now keeps trucks at the entrances, guards through out the building and in constant communication with local police. And we aren't leaving. These years have made me feel fearful and misunderstood, and also braver, more defiant in my identity. More clear on how I want to raise my kids both proud of being Jewish and also more understanding of the complexity of the world, the fragility of it all. Please keep writing, we'll keep reading. Your words are a balm.
Thank you so much for reading and for your message, Ella. I fully relate to everything you shared. Post-Oct. 7 was also the first time I felt unsafe in who I was in America. I think our childhood sense of safety and acceptance was, unfortunately, more of an anomaly than a new norm. But I’m also with you on this new sense of belonging, connection, and even defiance in our identities. Writing this piece felt like staking my claim a little bit and saying, sorry, this is my reality! I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere!
Thank you again for your kind words. They truly made me feel so seen 🧡🧡🧡
Also, Israel is so special, and I think if the people screaming about this tiny land would go visit, they would hopefully understand the need to protect it. Am Yisrael Chai!🇮🇱🤍💙
And yes, Israel is really so special. I feel bad for the people so obsessed with hate towards it that they will never get to experience its beauty and vibrancy.
Hi Danielle. How terrible a state of affairs for one to have to apologize and possibly face insult before defending one’s country and people. Everyone should be able to take pride in their heritage despite the fact that, just like the individual people who comprise it, no country is perfect.
I am not a Jew, but something shifted very profoundly in my worldview after October 7th as well. I distinctly remember seeing the first reports of what was happening on the news, mouth agape, horrified, and then seeing images of people openly celebrating on the streets in the US and elsewhere. My brain broke. It did not compute.
I was also a registered Democrat, but these days I am an Independent. I think we attached a morality to politics that was both untrue and unwise. We have seen that both of the major parties will just pander to the very vocal minority that they think might decide the election and lose themselves in radical ideology.
Thank you so much for reading, and for your compassion and understanding. It really means so much to hear that some non-Jews can see through the madness!
And I totally agree about politics. It’s been a brutal wake up call personally to just how pandering politicians are. I always knew it in a sense, but WOW. The news media too! Completely captured.
Never forget 🩵✡️ thanks for bringing a bit more humanity and humanness to a very dark reality.
You write that “The Israeli-Palestinian conflict is one of the most painful, complicated, and enduring conflicts in the modern world.” It’s very difficult for people with no ties to understand the complexity and length of this. Thanks for your strength.
As an Israeli woman now living in America I arrived here knowing very little about American politics or the divide between left and right. What I did not expect was how quickly I would be exposed to a level of open Jewish hatred I had never personally experienced growing up in Israel, even living alongside Palestinian neighbors.
Not every antisemite belongs to one political side and hatred exists in many forms. As someone seeing this through fresh eyes much of the loudest and most socially accepted antisemitism I’ve encountered online personally, watched on campuses, and in protests has come from spaces that seem to identify themselves as progressive.
What saddens me most is how easily humanity gets lost when people stop seeing Jewish people as individuals and begin seeing us only as symbols of politics, power, or conflict. That is never where understanding begins.
Thank you for writing with honesty and such nuance. We need more voices like yours. Emptying out their pockets. Shalom 💜✡️
Oh man, I’m sorry this has been your introduction to America. It’s particularly inflamed lately, and just seems to keep getting worse. (The internet/social media is NOT helping). I do know that many, many people (myself included) feel very politically homeless and lost somewhere in the middle of our two political parties extremes.
Thank you for sharing. I do know that there is much more support. Seems like the louder groups are the smallest which is why I cannot remain silent not matter where I am geographically. Praying for peace.
Thank you for so much for sharing- I will read asap. It’s painful that it happened but I’m happy we can to find each other so we know we are not alone! 🧡
I haven't read this yet, though I'm about to! I am a Christian married to a Jewish man, and these years since 10/7 have been real eye-openers for me, as I've watched former friends and acquaintances spout hatred that they view as "speaking truth to power." I have had a perpetual anger simmering under the surface, on behalf of my husband and Jewish and Israeli in-laws. Sadly, I know that it took a lot of bravery for you to write this post. Thank you for doing so.
It’s been an eye-opener for us all! Thank you so much for your compassion and understanding. It does feel like it is in short supply lately. Describing it as a perpetual anger simmering under the surface is so right on!
I read it - so well-written and heartfelt. Thank you for sharing your family's story. This part especially resonated:
"And part of what has become so exhausting is that I can feel myself still wanting to participate in it all anyway. I still want to empty my pockets for you. I still want to believe that if I just explain my family and our history and the Jewish people well enough, carefully enough, patiently enough, something might finally land and open people’s minds."
I know, that’s the game they make us play — having to answer their wild accusations but never being believed no matter what we say. If we do somehow make our point, they change to another accusation.
Here’s another quote from Sartre that almost made the piece: “Never believe that anti-Semites are completely unaware of the absurdity of their replies. They know that their remarks are frivolous, open to challenge. But they are amusing themselves, for it is their adversary who is obliged to use words responsibly, since he believes in words. The anti-Semites have the right to play.”
I’m glad you decided to write this essay. Whether or not turning out your pockets changes the minds of our “inquisitors”, it will be read and appreciated by many other Jews, as it was by me.
Thanks so much, Ruth! I know, it’s such a funny desire to so want to disprove their narratives, even when I have no real faith much will ever change their minds. I’m so glad you read it and appreciated the piece 🧡
People can be brainwashed en masse, but now that their identities are fused to the false narrative in which they are virtuous heroes, they can only be returned to reality one by one (and that’s no guarantee).
I actually think it’s worse than the Qanon/stolen election people from a few years ago.
I’m livid at the Democratic Party for failing to lead and tell the truth - that there was no genocide, no colonialism, etc. And for instead deciding on genocidal antizionism as election strategy.
Assuming Vance isn’t the R candidate for 2028, I’ll cast my first R vote for President ever. (My state doesn’t have much happening for midterms.)
We definitely live in the upside down now. I feel so politically homeless I cannot even imagine how I’ll feel during the next election, ugh!
My husband is Israeli and my in laws live over there. This piece resonated with me deeply. A big part of why I left social media (IG & FB) a few years ago was the appalling response to October 7 by so many “progressive” people I know. Seeing these keyboard warriors, some of them friends I’ve known for years, spew such vitriol toward the “Israeli colonizers”—from the comfort and safety of their American homes which, by their own definition, sit on stolen land—was turning me into a really bitter person. It is absolutely a projection of colonizer guilt like you said. Anyway thank you for posting this.
Hi Christina, I have always been overwhelmed by social media but the post Oct 7 environment was (and still is) truly unreal and heartbreaking. The hypocrisy and the feeling that me and my family are just props in their abstract morality play (they won’t actually have to deal with any consequence) is so maddening. It took me so long to even figure out what was going on, let alone be able to articulate it. I’m so glad you read and resonated with the piece (even if it’s a very hard thing to resonate with!) 🧡
Very powerful! ✡️Keep writing. I loved your story and feel exactly the way you do! My grandparents escaped Hungary in 1920 with five children after my grandfather was up before a firing squad mistaken for a Hungarian army deserter from WWl. In the lower east side in NYC, they had three more daughters. My daughter and grandchildren live in Israel. We visit every year. I volunteered in March 2023 and was there all of January 2026. It is the best country in the world. 🌍💙🤍🇮🇱
Thanks for sharing this piece Danielle - very poignant. ❤️
Thanks so much, Kev 🧡
Thank you for sharing. I learned a lot.
I’m so happy to hear that. And thank you for reading and being open minded 🧡
Yours is a unique voice. Please keep writing to enlighten, educate and elucidate.
Thank you so much!
Thank you for this excellent article.
Thank you so much for reading! 🧡
💙🤍 appreciate you and the courage and clarity this took to publish.
Thank you so so much 🧡🧡🧡
From your lips to Hashem’s ears. I live in Portland and the one non-Jewish friend who even thought to even mention how horrible Oct 7 was without any prompting has a special place in my heart.
And also I am a left-leaning American Jew who found out in the few days after Oct 7 and the years since that, as someone said above, the Left just isn’t that into me…
Dear Danielle,
Thank you for this beautiful personal account. Nothing new in it for me, i am familiar with almost everything you mention to the T, but it still moved me to tears reading it from you.
I can relate well to your observations about friends and colleagues. The same happened between me and my own daughter! I am gonna have her read your piece, even if i have written plenty myself already, and am not shy to address issues.
Perhaps good to know for you: my daughter has a good heart, she would be a tsaddik if it weren't for the fact she now seems lost to me. She fights for everyone and anyone needing emancipation, and i'm proud to say that priviliged people denying their privilige (one of the worst among all priviliges IMO) can count on the full wrath of her moral clarity and her ruthless eloquence.
She is a scholar by nature, yet her inquisitiveness has now failed her.
She is a de facto antisemite, although i, her father was raised by four holocaust survivors. But i know her well enough to see that she is deluded for some reason. The delusion trapped this most improbable victim without her noticing. And that says a lot!
This for me most serious case of antisemitism just illustrates how treacherous this virus works. My daughter does not hate jews or her own partial jewishness. When i tell her she is antisemite, she feels deeply insulted and indignant about it.
That's how deep antisemitism is embedded in the sheer texture of western society. And how well the propaganda works. Both Sunni (MB, etc.) and Shia (IRGC, etc.) narratives are so ubiquitously infiltrated into even reputable media, and so generously financed worldwide, there's almost no stopping them.
But i will keep asking my daughter (and friends, and neighbours, and anyone) to substantiate their allegations, and confront them with (by asking to explain) how any evidence for their claims is missing. And regardless of evidence, how little sense it makes to paint jihad that has replaced all cultures it came across and now rules a quarter of the world under sharia, is the victim of a little country that fits 500 times in the landmass of the Arab League alone.
No indigeneity or religious arguments needed. We leave everyone in peace that does not attack us, they leave no one in peace, despite nobody attacking them. And they're not guilty of spreading the plague, islam IS the plague. A religion of explicit very un-subtle hatred.
Anyway, your family pics look absolutely invigorating! Tx for your post, and warm regards, Yuri.
Thank you so much for your comment, Yuri. I can hear the pain in your words. I can only imagine feeling so estranged from a family member. It’s been a really intense time for us and very eye-opening. I hope by sharing our stories more people will be able see our humanity and nuance, but even if they don’t, we’ll still have each other!
Yes we have each other. Now more than ever. And i 'll get my daughter back.
Thank you, Danielle for putting into words what has evaded me these years. Your writing is beautiful. While the initial loss of friendships and a political home was disorienting, it had also led me to a deeper clarity of who I want to surround myself with and leaning into my Jewish culture/faith. Being Jewish in America is a very visceral experience these days. I am a Soviet Jew whose family survived the Holocaust. I came to the US when I was 6, and have lived in America for over 35 years-this is the first time I have felt this unsafe and hated. Our synagogue now keeps trucks at the entrances, guards through out the building and in constant communication with local police. And we aren't leaving. These years have made me feel fearful and misunderstood, and also braver, more defiant in my identity. More clear on how I want to raise my kids both proud of being Jewish and also more understanding of the complexity of the world, the fragility of it all. Please keep writing, we'll keep reading. Your words are a balm.
Thank you so much for reading and for your message, Ella. I fully relate to everything you shared. Post-Oct. 7 was also the first time I felt unsafe in who I was in America. I think our childhood sense of safety and acceptance was, unfortunately, more of an anomaly than a new norm. But I’m also with you on this new sense of belonging, connection, and even defiance in our identities. Writing this piece felt like staking my claim a little bit and saying, sorry, this is my reality! I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere!
Thank you again for your kind words. They truly made me feel so seen 🧡🧡🧡
Also, Israel is so special, and I think if the people screaming about this tiny land would go visit, they would hopefully understand the need to protect it. Am Yisrael Chai!🇮🇱🤍💙
And yes, Israel is really so special. I feel bad for the people so obsessed with hate towards it that they will never get to experience its beauty and vibrancy.
Hi Danielle. How terrible a state of affairs for one to have to apologize and possibly face insult before defending one’s country and people. Everyone should be able to take pride in their heritage despite the fact that, just like the individual people who comprise it, no country is perfect.
I am not a Jew, but something shifted very profoundly in my worldview after October 7th as well. I distinctly remember seeing the first reports of what was happening on the news, mouth agape, horrified, and then seeing images of people openly celebrating on the streets in the US and elsewhere. My brain broke. It did not compute.
I was also a registered Democrat, but these days I am an Independent. I think we attached a morality to politics that was both untrue and unwise. We have seen that both of the major parties will just pander to the very vocal minority that they think might decide the election and lose themselves in radical ideology.
Thank you so much for reading, and for your compassion and understanding. It really means so much to hear that some non-Jews can see through the madness!
And I totally agree about politics. It’s been a brutal wake up call personally to just how pandering politicians are. I always knew it in a sense, but WOW. The news media too! Completely captured.
Never forget 🩵✡️ thanks for bringing a bit more humanity and humanness to a very dark reality.
You write that “The Israeli-Palestinian conflict is one of the most painful, complicated, and enduring conflicts in the modern world.” It’s very difficult for people with no ties to understand the complexity and length of this. Thanks for your strength.
As an Israeli woman now living in America I arrived here knowing very little about American politics or the divide between left and right. What I did not expect was how quickly I would be exposed to a level of open Jewish hatred I had never personally experienced growing up in Israel, even living alongside Palestinian neighbors.
Not every antisemite belongs to one political side and hatred exists in many forms. As someone seeing this through fresh eyes much of the loudest and most socially accepted antisemitism I’ve encountered online personally, watched on campuses, and in protests has come from spaces that seem to identify themselves as progressive.
What saddens me most is how easily humanity gets lost when people stop seeing Jewish people as individuals and begin seeing us only as symbols of politics, power, or conflict. That is never where understanding begins.
Thank you for writing with honesty and such nuance. We need more voices like yours. Emptying out their pockets. Shalom 💜✡️
Oh man, I’m sorry this has been your introduction to America. It’s particularly inflamed lately, and just seems to keep getting worse. (The internet/social media is NOT helping). I do know that many, many people (myself included) feel very politically homeless and lost somewhere in the middle of our two political parties extremes.
Thank you for sharing. I do know that there is much more support. Seems like the louder groups are the smallest which is why I cannot remain silent not matter where I am geographically. Praying for peace.
I am so sorry, many of us have stories like these and it is crucial that we tell them. Sharing mine with you here as well. Big hugs.
https://thegoldenpill.substack.com/p/i-was-ethnically-cleansed-from-my?r=31tulb&utm_medium=ios
Thank you for so much for sharing- I will read asap. It’s painful that it happened but I’m happy we can to find each other so we know we are not alone! 🧡